Sweet Fabric + words and pictures

Words & pictures...remember?

It’s a freezing Melbourne day.

I’ve got the heater going in the car and it’s nice & cosy. I have to force myself to turn off the engine. I’m staring across the road at the “manor” and willing myself to go in. I tell myself it’s too cold to get out of the car, acutely aware that’s not the real reason for my reluctance.

Non hasn’t recognised me for months. The visits are painful for me and I’m sure her as well. She’s not one of those sweet little old ladies who retain their social niceties and chat merrily about church, hydrangeas, cooking, suitcases and their cats. The visit isn't easy. I force the conversation and offer prompts.

Remember?
Warm moccasins, hand knits, sweet treats, close cuddles, leather gloves, working together, imaginary games.

Remember?
Pancakes, deep baths, silky pillowcases, strong perfume, daytime television, cross word puzzles, travel stories.

Remember?
Tic Tocs, shared dreams, dinner parties, Max Bygraves, the garden, Pop, your girls….me?

Non doesn’t, she can’t.

Occasionally I see that she is searching the far reaches of her failing mind, but she comes up blank.

She stares straight through me. When she does speak she is often angry and argumentative. I can’t blame her, I’m sure I’d be the same. I suppress the urge to scream.

This is no way to live.

I leave feeling completely drained.

The grieving began long before she died. I do remember & I cherish.

More remember? stories here.

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Words & pictures...remember? + words and pictures